Being deserted, feeling all alone
There is just this huge emptiness
Looking for some kind of escape
When I let myself go I feel heavy
Deceiving myself in this way
Nothing really matters anymore
Feeling just a sense of lost
Despair has passed and there is a way out
Do not want to remember my past
Do not want to acknowledge my present
Nor do I have any desire for the future
I am in this timeless state of mind
There is only one thing I long for
Tears in my eyes, sliding down my cheek
More tears will follow, that for sure
Accompanied by my hysterical laughter
Feelings of fear are taking control
I want to run away from this all
Running away from the confusion
But I have no place left to go to
Walking in this city full of strangers
In this place that is no longer mine
Going no place special just from there to here
Decided to look for an exit
I realize that once I was happy here
Seeing all these places I remember
But I can’t find it back, my happiness
Because its time now to be all by myself
High buildings are surrounding me
I find myself entering the nearest door
Then going up, further up, as high as possible
This is where it will end, no more tears to cry
Memories are lost, they are taken by the wind
I close my eyes and feel a cold breeze
My thoughts start spinning, faster, faster
A dizziness takes control of my body
Now it is time, there is no escape anymore
How much pain can one feel inside
I relax and look down, how much more to bare
Adrenaline is rushing through my veins
I jump and set myself free…
Monique Lucy Weberink
2011
