sadness - page 2

Being deserted, feeling all alone

There is just this huge emptiness

Looking for some kind of escape

When I let myself go I feel heavy

Deceiving myself in this way

Nothing really matters anymore

Feeling just a sense of lost

Despair has passed and there is a way out

Do not want to remember my past

Do not want to acknowledge my present

Nor do I have any desire for the future

I am in this timeless state of mind

There is only one thing I long for

Tears in my eyes, sliding down my cheek

More tears will follow, that for sure

Accompanied by my hysterical laughter

Feelings of fear are taking control

I want to run away from this all

Running away from the confusion

But I have no place left to go to

Walking in this city full of strangers

In this place that is no longer mine

Going no place special just from there to here

Decided to look for an exit

I realize that once I was happy here

Seeing all these places I remember

But I can’t find it back, my happiness

Because its time now to be all by myself

High buildings are surrounding me

I find myself entering the nearest door

Then going up, further up, as high as possible

This is where it will end, no more tears to cry

Memories are lost, they are taken by the wind

I close my eyes and feel a cold breeze

My thoughts start spinning, faster, faster

A dizziness takes control of my body

Now it is time, there is no escape anymore

How much pain can one feel inside

I relax and look down, how much more to bare

Adrenaline is rushing through my veins

I jump and set myself free…

Monique Lucy Weberink

2011